Thursday, August 9, 2012

Le food III

Clearly my favorite topic Smile 


Authentic Indian at the heart of Westlands. Statements like this one is why I find restaurant reviews useless. They don’t mean anything. Unless you can picture the food and almost taste it, there is no point writing about it (you might be able to make the point that I have no pictures, but that’s mostly because I was busy eating). They also don’t mean anything when made by people like me, who while we strongly appreciate and passionately love food, don’t really care where it comes from. This place was more Pakistani than Indian. Just fyi.

Authentic,  can’t tell. Never been to India or Pakistan. But was packed with Indians and that for me means legit Indian cooking. Indian friends confirmed. Heart of Westlands? Well who knows where the heart of Westlands is, if there really is one….

Now, to the point: (1) Masala chips (what they call here chips, a leftover of British colonial English I’m gonna guess, is more widely known as French fries. Then again this rises the question, why French, but I have no desire to dwell on this topic) is what Hashmi is known for. After several bites, the spiciness increased and soon my tongue was on fire. Burning... but I had to try. Da ne se minem, as they say. (2) Mixed platter with 4 types of meat – surprisingly edible, excluding the chicken which was way out of the spice safe zone. One bite was the end of me and chicken for the night. (3) Pilipili :), cute I know, but this basically means tilapia with yet another spicy sauce. Somewhat bearable, so I even helped myself to a second serving of the fish. (4) Again the naan and a large bottle of water save the day.

Ultimately, in conclusion, after all, in the end: great food. But Indian is not for me, way too spicy. Neither is Pakistani. I often wonder why I even try the food when my spice tolerance nothing but deteriorates with time.

Fogo Gaucho

Churrascaria in Nairobi: meat on a stick!! Yum!

Need say nothing else, but I have the charming quality of having an opinion about everything. And you might have noticed, reader, that it tends to be on the negative/complaining/whining side.

I will not diverge from that trend. Not because of the quality of the restaurant, which was high, but mostly because nothing will ever match my first churrascaria experience and my fascination with the types, quality and quantity of meat. Many people go for the experience, I found that fun only the first time. I’ve said this before, but nothing matches a cow on a cart! Now, I go for the food.

So what we got served: lamb, beef, chicken, prawns and I feel like I’m forgetting something. Somehow I don’t remember eating pork or seeing it on the brochure (that’s right, brochure, not menu). Which is sad, because pork rocks! They also offer crocodile, but they didn’t serve it this time. And we started with empanadas.

NB: If you are wonder, I did employ the same “Carnivore” strategy. It works. 83% of the time.

Why, yes, I do love taking pictures of my plate :)
I’m not gonna do another clock because this is clearly a mess.

Lamb leg = great (there was another lamb cut, but it wasn’t as good)

Cow ribs = awesome (Side note: in Kenya, apparently, they serve cow ribs to women, so they get full on them, while the men eat the better meat. Sexist and funny. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with ribs, especially with some crispy skin on).

Fried bananas = great

Beef (various cuts and types that I don’t remember) = amazing

Chicken = mediocre (drumsticks and wings)

Prawns = had been frozen, defrosted and grilled and in the processed had acquired a not so appealing metallic taste, characteristics of frozen and defrosted things. More importantly, where did they come from. Are there any prawns in the Indian Ocean? Ask yourself? Then go for the prawns. Also, apply the no-R rule and it’s pretty clear you have to avoid seafood. Not at all costs, but most of the time.

Salad bar = paid no attention, but good arugula salad and a wide variety of other salads. There was a large roll of cheese, but like large large that you had to carve into and sprinkle on your salad. Parmigiano taste, but not confirmed.

Four hot meals = no idea what those even were, paid so little attention to that side of the restaurant.

And finally a surprise! 


DESSERT ON A STICK!!!!! Pineapple Smile with bloody cinnamon Sad smile

Brew Bistro

I feel like I have to say something about Brew Bistro just to make my stay in Nairobi sound more legit. Great food! Never tried it, but so I hear. Meat on a stick (really nothing new for Kenya or this particular post, but somehow the variety always takes me a little off guard). Baby burgers – I honestly don’t get it. As with everything else in life, size matters for burgers too. In this case, just so it happens that the bigger is actually the better. 

Where was I going with this… good beer when you just order a beer. This time around they had some difficulty comprehending that. Heifeisen ?! (can’t be bothered with the spelling right now) had to do, after a painfully deceptive listing of Octoberfest. Sam Adams, I miss you! Can’t wait for a taste of the seasonal!
This part of the post is kinda useless and more about me trying to prove I’ve been there. Ha! But really nothing to talk about: it is fun, the music is good, the atmosphere chill, there’s hookah. Only thing they can work on is the dessert menu. Don’t dig the whole healthy thing they have going on.


To include this was someone’s suggestion. But I somehow did not feel inspired enough by this place. Others loved it, so read up elsewhere:

It’s probably ‘coz I didn’t eat meat there that I have nothing to say and was left unsatisfied.

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